The Secret Struggles of Being a Doula: Tips and Resources to Help You Cope

Let’s take a moment to focus on you. As a doula, you dedicate your life to putting families first, but it’s important to acknowledge the challenges that come with this role. Attending long and difficult births can be challenging, but you are not alone. In this blog post, we will share some tips and resources to help you navigate these challenges and continue to make a positive impact on your community. Remember, taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of others.

Being on call as a doula can be hard on your personal and professional life, as well as your physical and mental health. You may have to work for long hours without rest, sleep, or food, or deal with stressful and unpredictable situations during the birth. One suggestion to manage this challenge is to have a contract that specifies the number of hours of labor support. This can help you set clear expectations with your clients and ensure that you are fairly compensated for your time and expertise. It’s also important to take care of your own health and well-being by eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep in between births to maintain your physical and mental health. Seeking support from other doulas or mentors by joining a local or online doula community where you can share your experiences, learn from others, and receive emotional support can also be helpful. It’s also important to set boundaries and limits on the number of clients you take on. Knowing your own limits and not overcommitting yourself will help you provide high-quality support to each of your clients.

Advocating for your clients in a medical setting can be tough, especially if the staff isn’t supportive or respectful. You might face resistance or hostility from the medical staff, and it can be tiring to educate your clients about their options and rights. To cope with this challenge, it’s important to keep learning new skills and stay up-to-date with the latest research and best practices in maternal health care. After the birth, take time to debrief with your clients to help them understand and make sense of their birth experiences. It’s also important to seek support from other doulas or therapists who can listen and validate your feelings.

Being a doula yourself can affect your identity and self-esteem. You may feel responsible for your clients’ well-being and happiness, blame yourself for not being able to prevent or stop the harm that your clients suffer, experience secondary or vicarious trauma from witnessing your clients’ pain and suffering, or feel isolated or misunderstood by others who do not share your passion or values. To overcome this challenge, it's important to celebrate the positive aspects of your work and achievements. Take time to reflect on the positive impact you have made on the lives of your clients and their families. Acknowledge the challenges and difficulties of your work and role, but also remember the value of the support you provide. Seeking support from other doulas or friends who can appreciate and respect what you do and how you serve can make a big difference. Finally, engage in self-care activities that can nourish your body, mind, and soul.

Being a doula can be rewarding and fulfilling, but also hard and draining. You face many challenges when attending long and difficult births, but you also have many ways to cope with them. You are important and valuable, and you make a positive difference in the lives of many families. Please remember that you are not alone in facing these challenges. Keep up the amazing work that you do!